


Dazed And Confused

by lebeaus



Category: All New X Factor, Avengers (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 11:30:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14831444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lebeaus/pseuds/lebeaus
Summary: After Flashbacks plague Remy's memory he takes drastic measures to end them. Pietro deals with the aftermath





	Dazed And Confused

His fist hit the wall with a soft thud, then his other fist followed suit. Again and again Remy punched the wall, tears streaming down his face. He beat the bricks until his knuckles were sore and bleeding, collapsing to the floor. His mind was frantic, flashbacks of Sabretooth running rampant. He pulled desperately at his hair, trying to ground himself. 

He screamed into a pillow until his throat was raw, but it wasn’t enough, Creed was still there. He punched himself in the leg until his thigh was bright red and sore. He bit into his hand until it was covered in bite marks and beginning to bruise, it still didn’t help.

Nothing was working, the fear and anger Remy felt was completely overwhelming him. He stood up quickly, rushing to the kitchen. Tears still running down his face he rummaged through the knife drawer. He grabbed a serrated blade and held it to his throat, pausing at the last second to let out a hiccuping sob. He lowered the knife to his arm and held his breath. Remy hadn’t done this in years, not since he had gotten diagnosed. He sliced quickly and deep right below his elbow. He repeated the process almost three dozen times, until he was bleeding profusely from both arms. 

Remy raised the knife again, and then stopped as he heard Pietro unlock the door to the apartment. Remy scrambled to the dishwasher, shoving the knife inside it. He grabbed a paper towel and began wiping his arms as quickly as he could. 

“Remy? You here? Rems?” Pietro called out from the den. Remy froze for a moment, praying Pietro wouldn’t use his superspeed to check the apartment.

“In de kitchen, cher.” Remy replied, his voice hoarse. He threw the paper towel out, not moving from his spot on the floor. The paper towel hadn’t helped whatsoever, the cuts were too deep. Remy held his breath as he heard Pietro place his keys on the table in the hall. 

“Oh good, I need help putting these groceries away. You know who I saw at the-“ Pietro stepped into the kitchen and his face went white as a sheet, he dropped the groceries, eggs cracking open as the carton hit the tile. He stood still, taking in the situation, before backing out of the room slowly. Remy broke down again, his breathing uneven and his eyes watery. Remy sobbed into his hands, he’d scared Pietro away for good this time he was sure of it. 

Then suddenly Pietro was back, the medical kit they kept under the bathroom sink tucked in between his arm and his side and a cluster of their towels in his hands. Without saying a word he grabbed Remy by the arm, kneeling down next to him. He wiped the blood from his arms and hugged him. After a second he went to work, cleaning up Remy’s mess. Remy apologized over and over and Pietro kissed him every time, either to shut him up or to reassure him he was loved. 

Remy’s arms had mostly stopped bleeding, but there was two or three cuts for that would need stitches, and Pietro was there to do just that. He poured rubbing alcohol onto a cotton swab and handed Remy a cloth. Remy held it and looked at Pietro, confused. 

“In your mouth, put it in your mouth and bite down.” Pietro stated, his accent slipping through just slightly. Remy nodded nervously and placed the cloth in his mouth. He watched as Pietro quickly wiped the wounds with the cotton ball, the stinging pain barely bothering Remy. It wasn’t until the needle had pierced his skin that Remy finally snapped out of the daze he was in. He whimpered and Pietro hushed him, focusing on closing the cuts. 

Pietro finished quickly, wiping his hands on one of the towels. He closed the medical kit and left the kitchen, leaving Remy on the floor covered in his own blood. Pietro returned a full minute later, water dripping from his face. He was expressionless, and that terrified Remy. Pietro crouched down next to him again and picked up one of the towels. He got the towel wet and stood Remy up, wiping his arms gently, careful not to reopen any of the cuts. 

Remy stared into nothingness, numb and unfeeling. He couldn’t believe what he had done to himself or what Pietro had to do for him. He was disgusted with himself and he could feel tears welling in his eyes again. “Pie I-“ he started, but he stopped as Pietro looked up at him, his eyes cold and distant. “Pietro I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry you came home to dis.” Pietro hushed him, focusing on cleaning Remy up.

As Pietro finished cleaning his arms he grabbed Remy’s hand, giving it a light squeeze. He led Remy into their room and laid him down on the bed. Remy sat there dumbfounded and Pietro began to kiss him, starting with the tips of his fingers, then the backs of his hands, his wrists, and then each and every one of the new injuries Remy had acquired. He held Remy close to him and sighed, breathing in as much air as he could. Remy only noticed he was crying when a teardrop fell onto his shirt. 

“Pietro, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry cher.” Remy said, wrapping his arms around the other man. 

“No Remy, I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you. I don’t know what happened while I was out but I promise, whatever it is, I’ll fix it.” Pietro said, gently brushing Remy’s hair out of his face.

“Non, mon amour, it ain’t like dat. You didn’t do anyt’ing wrong.” Remy replied, kissing Pietro’s forehead. 

“Then what was it? Did someone stop by? Remy I want to help you.” Pietro spoke quickly and nervously, Remy wiped tears from his boyfriend’s face.

“Shh, ‘s alright baby, ‘s alright.” Remy said, cradling Pietro in his arms. Pietro looked at him desperately, worry in his eyes. “It was jus’ flashbacks hun, no need to worry yer pretty lil head.” 

“It isn’t just flashbacks Remy, you should’ve taken those pills they gave you, not tried to cut into yourself like a-a,” Pietro stopped himself, unsure if he was helping. Remy looked at him dejectedly “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t say that.” Pietro apologized, holding Remy closer to him.

As they sat there holding each other, Remy began to cry again.Pietro kissed him softly on the lips, running a hand through Remy’s hair. Remy kissed him back, opening his mouth slightly to deepen the kiss. Remy draped his arms over Pietro’s shoulders and pulled him down onto the bed.

Pietro pulled away from the kiss to admire Remy, his hair falling gently across the bed. “You’re beautiful, you know that Remy?” He said, as fingers danced gracefully up his chest, unbuttoning his shirt. Pietro stopped him before he managed to unbuckle his belt “Not, tonight Remy.” He whispered into Remy’s ear, kissing his cheek before standing up. 

Remy sat up, his hair disheveled. Pietro tugged the blankets down on the bed, motioning for Remy to get under the covers. Remy complied, crawling across the bed and under the blankets. Pietro kissed his forehead and handed him the remote to their tv, his hand lingering over Remy’s for a moment before leaving the room. Remy pressed the button to turn on the tv and started watching some garbage show while he waited for Pietro to return.

Pietro returned about 5 minutes later, cleaner looking and in shorts and an avengers t-shirt. He crawled under the covers and slipped an arm under Remy and pulled him closer. Remy turned on his side and laid his head on Pietro’s chest. Pietro kissed his forehead and lifted his hand to run it through Remy’s hair. Remy leaned up and kissed Pietro’s chin. 

The two sat there for the rest of the night, saying almost nothing but everything at the same time. They fell asleep to the sound of car horns and the 10 pm news.

**Author's Note:**

> This Was A Vent Fic Really But I Like It So You Get The Pleasure Of Reading It


End file.
